Monday, May 30, 2005

Tp means Happy! *Snicker*

Hey. What I'm about to type might not make any sense as I'm listening to a comedy radio channel in one ear and my conscience telling me that I should be studying something or other for my upcomming TP tommorow. TP means "Travaux Pratique" which is actually just experiment time or whatever, where we have to do like chemistry stuff or something with beakers and junk and the radio is really distracting me right now so excuse my incohearance and jeeze my spelling is junk. Yup. Totally, dude. You know what? Today I discovered yet another of life's great truths. Let me relate to you the narrow path to enlightenment I followed to obtain such an epiphany. Well, today my Mom came back from shopping and handed me half of the Snickers she bought at the store, and I preceded to raise it to my mouth, unaware of the revelation I was about to experience. I took a bite of the candy bar. Shock! Dismay! Stupor! Indeed, as I bit into it, it did not at all taste like a snickers!!! Befuzzlement! So I looked at it, and noticed that I was eating it upside down. I turn it over, aware that I was on the edge of spiritual enlightenment, took a bite, and eureka! It tasted normal! Indeed, friends and people I don't know so well, Snickers taste completely different when you eat them upsidedown! Wow. It's like a news flash. I ran over to share the good news with my Mom, she turn the snickers over ate it, and comfirmed my discovery! "Hmm. Yeah, it does taste different." And then she went back to playing golf solitaire on my palm. Witness!! It has been confirmed! Yipee!!! Go! Shout it on the mountain tops! Share the good news! Snickers are like a totally different candy bar right side up and vice versa. EUREKAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
*Jumps out of bathtub and runs screaming down the street."

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Human lie raincheck.

Hey. It's the day after the last post, so I guess I lied about that getting-the-bac- before-I-post-again thing. Don't trust these shifty eyes. Maybe it wouldn't have gotten past you if you had read this. Yep. Studying started to melt my brain, needed to cool it down, so guess what I did!? Yeah, I hurried over to the internet and spent 5 hours randomly jumping through Wikipedia articles and playing Kol. Love Kol. Hmm. Watched Fat Albert last night. Holy very bad movie batman! Well, it was more like a sub par Saturday morning cartoon than a movie really. It had that guy from Nickelodeon ( or however it's spelled ) Kenan and Kell or something show, it's been a long time.
And now I can't check because the Internet just kicked the bucket again. Probably because of the storm that's going on right now. Seriously, I went outside and wanted to go "Aunty Em! Aunty Em! It's a twister! It's a twister!". I had to hold my umbrella horizontal to the ground because that's where the rain was coming from. There was nothing over my head, and it was dry as can be because I was holding the umbrella like a shield in front of my face, trying to keep the thing from collapsing in the crazy wind, so I am now soaked from the waist down. Been raining for a couple hours now. Rainy season is my favorite of the two seasons here. Everything gets green again, and almost every day you get to see the awesome power of nature with thunder so loud that you can't hear for 30 seconds after, and rain so plentyfull that you can see water like an inch deep on a 45 degree incline, it just doesn't have time enough to run off before more comes. Awsome. Well, the net is back, so I think I'll post this and get outta here. See ya!

Friday, May 27, 2005

My hairy situation with the BAC.

Heyello! I hope you are having a splendorious day today! ( Just remember, you heard "splendorious" here first. ;-) ) This will be my very last post for a while, as I got's ta study for my BAC now. It's like only two weeks from now. YIKES! The BAC, the thing we have been preparing these past three years for, is about to arrive. I overheard some of my classmates talking today about which subjects they had finished studying for, and when it got around to me I was like: "Finished? I haven't even started." And everyone just sort of stared at me wide-eyed and some 1ere ( That's 11th grade ) said that it would be nice seeing me in his class next year. In short, I'm already screwed. This isn't a final, it's the final. I'm being tested on every single thing I've learned in high school. Ever. I've already finished my P.E. BAC in which we finally got the pay off from 3 yrs of playing volleyball every Friday. Seriously. The examiners even come from other countries to get here. I need to know years of material going into these tests. And I've got two weeks to cram it all into my head. So there is going to be a mighty gap in these posts, and hopefully the next time I write I'll be able to tell y'all that I past. If I'm lucky. ;-)
In other news, I just got my hair cut a couple of minutes ago. I think it looks pretty cool.

Before it was all:



But now it's all:



Pretty sweet huh? [ EDIT: Yep, my new haircut makes me look like Brad Pitt. All the way.] I don't even know which pictures I'm going to find on GIS yet, as I type this, but I know they will be... appropriate. I hope. Well, studying will have to wait until I post this, and then tonight I will go to the Marine house to see Fat Albert the movie. Which I heard suxors. But that's Ok. The Marine House is like our movie theater here. The first time I saw Lord of the Rings it was at the Marine House. The only problem is that the armed forces get their movies just a little before they come out on video, so around six months after the film came out in theaters. I love Marine House. Well, I'm outta here, see you when I post the next one, provided that I don't kill myself when I fail the BAC. Bye.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Let's see if the stolen pen is mightier than the sword when I cleave



Hey. See, I'm getting used to this blog thing, so far I've posted just about every day or so. Booyah! The bad part being that I didn't use that time to study for my BAC, the humongous test that French schools have to determine whether you get out of high school or not, and what kind of college you get to go to. The pressure is gigantic. Hehe. And I'm spending hideous amounts of time with this blog. It's been cool, I've learned a little Html, written some neat stuff, and I'd like to say met some cool ppl, but then again, I sense a vast chasm of empty space on the other side of these words, filled only with the sounds of crickets chirping. *cricket, cricketEven Google don't know where I am.
So as long as I am talking to the fathomless depths of cyberspace, I think I'll tell you about the terrible crime that was committed to me today at school. Besides the crime of actually making me go. Alright, so picture this: I have just arrived in my Physique/Chemie class to find that we had a test scheduled for today that no one has told me about, and as I have visions of death by chemistry floating in front of my eyes, I sit down and get out my stuff for the test. The only problem being that there is no stuff in my bag to get out. No writing utensils, to be precise. I have no pen to write with, or eraser to erase with, or protractor to protract with. My pencil bag ain't in there, or anywhere. I can't go out to the room that we just left to find out if I left it there because, well, this is a test and such things are not done. So I borrow someone's pen and carry on to fail the test admirably. I get out and hurry down to the room where my junk probably is, knowing that things lost here don't usually stay lost for very long. No, they usually find a brand new home pretty quick. I get there, ask if anyone has seen a old black pencil bag with big holes in the side and a happy evil smiley face drawn with whiteout on the front, and receive a big "non". Knowing that if it's not where you left it, that means that it's probably warm and snuggly in the pocket of it's new owner, it is without much hope that I go and see if someone might have put it in the lost and found. When I get there lo-and-behold! it's right there sitting on the supervisors desk. Yay! I go and hug the ratty looking thing to me, and as I do, I notice that everything didn't fall out of the holes in the side like it usually does when I pick the ( literally ) holy thing up. That is because everything wasn't in it. In fact, not much of everything was to be found inside it at all. Should have guessed. I am gratefully, though, that I got the few stubby colored pencils that were left in the bag at least, and as I leave, a teacher stops to ask me if I got all my stuff back. Apparently the teacher was the one that turned the bag into the lost and found, after figuring out that the bag his students were saying belonged to them wasn't actually their's. I express my gratitude, and tell the dude that unfortunately most of my pens and pencils and junk weren't in there. And he tells me that he will go bust the heads of the kids that found my pencil bag and get them to give my my stuff back. I offer to help him with my piledrive of doom, but he declines, cracking his knuckles, and smiles as he walks away, muttering something about not wanting witnesses. And so, at the end of the day I go to the office before I leave the school, and a couple of pencils and my lucky fountain pen with the melted cap made to look like a samurai warrior are waiting for me, to my great joy. Some junk is missing, but in the end I got out of the deal in pretty good shape, all in all. I sorta felt like being there when the teacher went through their bags, and getting all of my stuff back, and maybe telling him that one of the thief's pens was mine as well, just to get back at the jerk. But I have a conscience for telling me not to do junk like that anyway, so I probably wouldn't have done it. I've got to cultivate my evil-overlord-ness a little more, I guess, before I can become the evil ruler of the universe.


Wednesday, May 25, 2005

What Jedi am I, and internet thoughts I talk about. *Beep-boop*!



Hey. I figured it was about time I wrote a good long meaty post, after posting like a billion images the past couple times. The good news is that all those images pushed the embarrassing entries off the end! Yay! I am free of them! And, no, you can't click on the archives to read them. Why? Because I said so. Don't do it. Or I'll sic my wookie on you.
Hehe. That test that I took that told me I was Han Solo, well I kinda cheated on the answers to get him. I mean, when they asked me my weapon of choice I just checked "Blaster" instead of "lightsaber", mode of transportation was "Millennium Falcon" etc., etc.. When I was answering the questions truthfully, I was actually Yoda. Sweet. But his caption was "900 yrs old and I can still f*** you up." And this site is rated G, so I couldn't put that one here. Ditto with the second time I did it for real. Mace Windu. Can't remember the caption but there was a four letter word somewhere in there. Yoda and R2-D2. Dang, in all the tests I've taken, I'm always a tiny character with strange speech patterns. Mmm! Just like real life it is! Muppet's voice I do have. Mmmm! And I also make lots of beeps and whistling noises, just randomly. I mean, I'll just be there and someone will say something sad and I'll go: "Tweeeetttooooo." And they'll be like "What?" And I'll be like "I said that's a bummer man." And then they'll say "Oh! "Tweeeetttooooo"! I thought you said "Tweettertaaaaaa"!" Which will strike me as funny and I'll be like "Dude! Why would I say I was hungry!" And then he'll be like "Dude! That's what I was wondering! I was like: "Tweetertaa"? Why the heck is he saying "Tweetertaa"? Does he want me to pass the bag of Doritos or something?" And we'll laugh and go back to reading the Star wars language guide, getting out our thick plastic rimed glasses from our pocket protectors. Whee! ( I don't really actually own a pocket protector, or wear glasses, but I would, if ppl thinking that I was a geek actually made me intelligent. )
Jeez. Today was a most wonderfully day off from school, in the honor of the U.O.A. the "Union Ouest Africain" which I heard was started by the old dictator of this country, Sekou Toure. Yep. My last day of vacation until I go out with a bang at the end of the year with the BAC. Only two weeks left now. TWO WEEKS!!!! And I used this day to play PING-PONG and write THIS!! YAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Internet ( This site mainly ) has become a pestering distraction from my studies. I think I'll make like Darth Vador and crush it's windpipe with my mind. Or just stop spending so much of my time with it and it's informational goodness. I mean you can really find ANYTHING here, books, movies, music, jobs, relationships, almost any information possible, all here, on the Internet. You just have to know where to find it. I'm here mostly for those first three, I mean all I do is search for games, books, etc.. and download them, and most of the time I don't even play the games, read the books, or even listen to the music, I just search and download, search and download, until my harddrive gets full and then I erase some of the bigger files and start back up again. I guess I could get in trouble for it, but really, none of the methods I use are illegal. I'll post some tutorials sometime, about how to use mIRC to download manga and anime and books and stuff. You know the RIAA is fighting a losing battle, because you can't really kill the spread of information all that easily on the net. You can illegalise one method of file sharing, but then another will just take it's place. Sometimes I think about how, sometime in the distant future, I too will be making stuff, and if ppl just send it around free I wouldn't be able to make a living that way, and then I feel kinda bad. I guess the only thing you can do is make it as hard as possible  for ppl to share it, and that's why things like mIRC are home free, because it's kinda complicated to get files off it, and if you don't know how, most ppl aren't going to tell you. Well, that's all your going to here from me on the subject of the legality of file sharing, so now we shall move on. And stop. Because I've got to go over and send this ( hopefully it'll work this time ), and then I got's ta go to bed. Oh, and this time I saved putting the title on till last so I would know what I talked about first, before choosing the ever important subject. So you know this is well titled, boy.


Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Wally is my hero. "hello" is my enemy.


I hate hello so much right now. Posted by Hello

This just about sums up my strategy for completing school papers, projects, and everything else. I thought I invented that technique! I should patent my procrastination strategies, so that rogue cartoon caracters don't steal my ideas!

P.S. A big thanks for all the help you didn't give me you useless piece of junk "hello".

Monday, May 23, 2005

Play Kingdom of loathing.



Kingdom of loathing site

Hey. Sorry for all the lack of actual writing, but I just figured out how to get images in here. ( Yay webmaster me! ) I made a banner as well, which will actually be way harder than pics to get on here. ( Duh!) The pic is of Kol, an excellent browser game that has captured my mind and refuses to let go until I have played 5 hours of it. My Preeeecioouuussss!!!! Here is a review of it.

Escmag review of Kol

The review actually sucks because they only gave it a 7 out of 10. THEY LIE!! It is a 11 out of 10!!! It's pretty funny all the time, lots of parodies of songs and stuff. Great.
Yeah, and I just discovered online radio. Really cool for me as we DON'T have radio here. I am as we speak listening to "hollaback girl" on mak radio. I am a sucka for top 40 channels. Keeping up on my Americain Culture. Yep. Gwen Stefani. And now Avril Lavigne. Please don't juge me, I'm just doing my homework on whats going on in the states. Trying hard not to rip off my headphones and throw them across the room as I listen to "My happy ending" for the 40th time. I thought it was top 40 and not avril x 40! Ok other than that.

Really actually ok radio station Mak radio

Stayed home from school today because only had classes where all the lessons were finished. Brain hurts from spending all day on computer. Incapable of putting pronouns in sentences. Ouch. Well, I feel guilty for not studying for the BAC, but that will not stop me from trying to find a way to get the banner on the site. Wish me well! Fare thee well!!!!

I am Star Wars


:: how jedi are you? ::


Hey, I was actually yoda the first time, and then mace windu the 2nd, but didn't take em cause of swear words. I am holier than you.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Hehe, sorry no bed yet, saw this on Peter's site.



Midget_O_Doom. Link to the right.
Add 6 Hours to the time that it says I post and you have the time it is here. ( 12:45 AM ) I am now officially a moron. 'Night.

Nobody respects the Bith.



Love the Bith. This was a photoshop from fark by a guy named "Yst". He. Going to bed now.

Why R2-D2? Oh well, he IS the best actor in Episode I.





Star Wars Horoscope for Capricorn




You have a ton of ambition and inexhaustible desire to reach your goals.
You are very loyal, going to great lengths to help someone out.
You are a very social unit, winning the hearts of many with your cute personality.

Star wars character you are most like: R2D2


What is Your Star Wars Horoscope?

Long time no type.

Here's a little song someone wrote, you might want to sing it note for note: Don't worry, Be happy. Great song. And no instruments on it or anything, just voice. Sweet. This might not make any sense as I just got back from an evil math test written by the devil himself ( I know, because only the things I didn't study were questions on the test, knowledge only the devil himself could have used against me. Him and my math teacher. Oh, wait, I just repeated myself. ;-) ) A week since my last post. See the pattern? The good part is that I have resolved to stop using so much italics and bold, and to stop talking about no one reading me. Yay. So tired. Today is Saturday. You do not know the true meaning of pain until you have had a 4hr long test on a Saturday. Crappy power, where have you gone? Only 60% of battery left. Considering that I've been on for 30min, I've got 45min until it dies completely, only to be revived when I plug it back into the wall. Hmm, I kill batteries a lot, does that make me a serial battery murderer? My conscience lies heavily on me. I shall now write a word backwards: ABIHSOT . It's what one says when they've been shot and blur their words heavily.
I know that you have uplifted and enlightened by this most marvelous of posts, so it is with great pride that I announce that this is, indeed,

    THE END.


Monday, May 16, 2005

An eventfull weekend.

See? My titles are getting more descriptive! Hmm. Let me see. Alex is
back, now! I even went to see him get in at the airport, waiting with
Facinet and Melanie. He's still as hairy and as crazy as ever. Now,
instead of having a beard, he has shaved off the sides and now he has a
goatee, so instead of looking like an Arab terrorist, he now looks like
an evil overlord. That was Thursday. On Friday, we had youth group.
Yay. Almost forgot what it was like to have ppl my age at youth group.
Made a whole lot of jokes that only me and he could get, thanks to the
wisdom of old age. Example:
Alex: " You know I was looking at this blog the other day, and this
chick had posted something about how her breasts were smaller than an A
cup and was that normal, and I was like: "Smaller than an A! Isn't that
like concave!".
Me: "Alex I could not possibly condone such juvenile and insensitive
behavior. Repent immediately of thy sins."
Or I just laughed. Whatever. And uncle Phil, our youth group leader,
berated Alex quite thoughrowly. And everyone else was like "Oo, oo, my
coffee cup has my name written on it!" or "I have a gigantic
cup that I use when I play tennis! It has a special straw!"
Never underestimate the shelteredness of young missionary children. I
suppose that would be myself included. I have tried desperately to
taint myself with the unholy notions of modern society, but it seems
that it has only half worked, as while I knew what an A cup was
I actually had no idea that it was the smallest. But then again, it's
not like I wear the things, so why should I want to know,
there is only one reason that I can think of that you would ( Alex!),
and that's the whole point, really. We were all guys.
Actually the example that I just used was from Saturday, when, also at
Phil's house, we had the guy's sleep over. ( There are some
chicks in the Y group, or Alex would have gotten his ear chewed off by
more than Phil ) The guy's sleep over was insane, and I don't
mean insane-awesome, or even insane-crazy. I just mean insane
holy-heck-I-still-haven't-done-the-homework
-that-was-due-last-Monday-and-now-I'm-going-to-stay -up-till-6am-and-that-kills-my-chances-of-doing-it-Sunday.
( see last week ) That kind of insane. Although it was
fun. We ate pizza, watched MI-2, Goldeneye, etc..., played PS2, LOTR
Two Towers, Bounty Hunter. It was cool. Found out that Alex had a blog,
too. Will post link here when I find out where it is. Somewhere on
LiveWire, I think. He wants to become a writer as well. I told him that
I had a blog too. And then I told him, no he could <i>not</i> know
where it was, it was a <i>secret</i> blog. To which he responded "What!!!
What's the point of having a secret blog?" ( Maybe save paper
from being used in a real journal? Go hug a tree! ) To which I
responded that anyone can access it if they know where it is. He told
me that it wasn't very secret then, was it? I of course told him that
no, it is very secret, I installed a hit counter and no one has ever visited it. He then raised the very good point that
only ppl who know me would be interested in reading my blog. True.
True. But then I wouldn't be able to say exactly what I want to say,
knowing that one of my friends could be hurt by my words. So there you
go. Either I tell ppl about this blog and stop witting nasty stuff
about them ( ;-) ), or I tell no one and then deal with the fact that
yes, a web page that no one sees might as well not exist. A dilemma,
one would say if one knew what that word meant. I don't really say
anything bad about anyone, but then again I could possibly embarrass
the heck out of myself. ( See post before last. ) Whatever. Well, I
feel guilty for staying home from school to write this, so I'll just
stop now before the guilt turns me on... -nuts! I meant "nuts!
"before the guilt turns me nuts" I have no idea why I said
"on". It's the lack of sleep hanging over from Sunday. Anyway, I got's
to finish my Math work and study for my biology test, so adios!

P.S. Oh, and guess what? You know how I was excited that 8 ppl have
seen my site? Well, I looked and 7 of the times it was actually me. And
the other time it was an internet bot. I suxors. And go check out
http://www.postcardchess.com. Right now. And send one to me. We'll play
chess. And you will cry when you lose, you baby.


Thursday, May 12, 2005

Hmm. Thoughts of a boy genius.

Hey, you know it's not easy to come up with a good title. I mean, if you're supposed to title your post something that indicates what was written in it, well then all my posts would be called "Rabid monkey pounds on John's keyboard while he is away, John sees what the monkey has written and posts it to his blog." Which is how I suspect most bloggers write their posts. Cause sometimes they don't make much sense. You know that button on the top of the page that says "Next Blog"? Well I pushed that thing a couple of times to see what I could find, and I came up with several "ad" type blogs that had stuff like "Chiuaua Sweaters" written like a thousand times on it, every once in a while someone who used it as a sort of a Journal ( like I do ), lots of official looking pages: like a band's site, or a conservative thingy, and then I found a blog called "Naked Warrior" which was actually quite hilarious, even if unintentionally. It was a new-age-sexual-liberation-type thing ( not nasty or anything ) talking about like how "Today I am aware that I am a naked being. Instead of looking away from what I usually ignore, today I will embrace nakedness. Find and enjoy every opertunity that you have today to become naked. Go streaking down main street displaying to all how in touch with your nekid-ness you are." He never actually said that last one, but I'm sure he would have, eventually.

Hmm, not posting everyday anymore, am I? Already the posts begin to grow far in between. Just as predicted in the old testament, "The John shall probably not last into his fourth week, the temptation of laziness having overcome the sinner. Repent O-John son of jackals!, or thy soul shall be consumed by the eternal brimstone of bloglessness!!!" -Johniniah 49:12
That book of the bible was recently found deep in the lower strata of a certain teenager's bedroom, and was quickly translated from the original greek to bring the wisdom contained within to the unenlightened public. =)

Truth is, I'm only witting right now in the Thunder Bird "compose" window, because the Internet is dead. And I'm not talking about "Oops I unplugged a cable somewhere, let me go plug that back in, wow now it works." I'm talking "Omygosh the Internet is so slow it's like the place the signal is coming from is like as far away as one of those stars where the light only gets to us like 5 Million years after it started, and it shall now become a tradition passed from generation to generation in my family to once every year come back to this computer and see if this web page has finally loaded." And the sad part is that I have been here around five hours now and while the internet is working, I still haven't been able to load google. It's go...ing...might..just...make..it... No sorry time-out try again. For five hours. I'm going to someday become a cybermissionary, and reach those people the Internet forgot.

That didn't make any sense whatsoever. Changing subject. I read today on my pal "midget-0-doom"'s blog that he was depressed and no one was witting any comments on his posts and pretty much echoing what I said in a post somewhere below this one about blogs and how ppl were just looking at his site to see the life of someone more pitiful than they are. I didn't exactly say that, but I was trying to get at something like it. I understand. At this point around 8 people have visited this page, or so says my handy counter thing, and for some freaky reason, 7 of those visits came an hour after I put the counter on the page. To sum it all up: NO ONE IS LISTENING!!! I know I decided not to tell anyone about this page, it being my journal and all, but it's a freaking web page, other ppl can access it, that's the point, but I can talk to myself easier in real life!! I should name this blog: "John speaks to himself. Subtitle: Welcome back to your blog John!" Hehe. Prove me wrong. I dare you! Post a comment to this. It's that button down there labeled "comment". ( John cries uncontroledly when no one comments. )

Speaking of midget-o-doom, he posted on his site a questionnaire he filled out on some site, and to my surprise I was on there a couple of times under "oldest friend" ( Seriously. We have known each other since before we were born. ) and friend living the farthest away and stuff. It made my day. Even if he spelled "Wilkos" wrong. =) To know that someone is thinking of you, even if it's only to fill out a questionnaire, is a great feeling. I think I will tell Pete about this site, just to show that his life not the most pitiful ( smiles ), and a lot of the time I feel depressed just like he was feeling then. So if you are reading this, I am thinking of you Peter. And not in the strange not right way that that just sounded, but, uh, you know, you're my friend, dude.
And uh, ahem, did you see last night's football game, lots of hot cheerleaders in that game, ahem, uh, yeah, and I killed like fifty people in an online game, man, just freaking fragged them all, yeah, ahem, and like at the end they were begging for mercy and I was like "I don't think so, you guys are already dead." and just killed them all. Hot, hot, cheerleaders, man, with the... you know *makes vague hand gestures in the air* ..............*trails off*

Right. Felt kinda awkward there for a while. Anyway, I'm outta here. This will probably be posted long after I wrote it, just like the last one. Before I go, though, check out this site I found:

http://www.20q.net/index.html

It can read your mind. Just like I do. ( Stop thinking that, heathen! ) You think of something in your head and then the computer asks you yes/no questions till it guesses what you were thinking of. It took it like 5 questions ( ex: Is it hard? , Is it bigger than a microwave?, etc...) for the thing to figure out that I was thinking of a chair. Uncanny. And by the way, stop thinking about never coming back here!! Now begone mortal!!

[edit]
Now I read on midget_O_doom's site that he was just ACTING depressed, wasn't really, it was just in honor of his favorite robot character in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Now I'm way embarrased, I went through all that awckward crap for nothing. Darn. No way I'm going to tell the dude about my blog now. I'll just wait until this post is gone. Ah, ze life of ze John, it iz incredIble, non?

Yet another window into the life and mind of the John.

Hey. I just read my previous posts. They weren't all that interesting, at least, I didn't think so, but then again, I wrote them, so nothing new in there for me. In fact I was raring' to write a new post ( this one ) before I just read all the others. Maybe it's just like when you look at pictures of yourself and know you look like a moron, even when everyone else says you look good. Or when you hear a tape of your voice and it just sounds stupid to you. But now I'm wary of writing more self-important-sounding, no sense-making, writing-a-paragraph-to-say-something-that-I-could-say-with-just-a-sentence-ing, and most annoyingly, bad-spelling-even-after-I-used-the-spell-checker-like-twice-ing. You know your spell checker is a redneck if: it doesn't know how to correct "opertunity". I have no idea how to spell that word. Go French school education!

Ah yes. Today I am, as they say in that song, "Free free I'm free at last, Thank god almighty I'm free at last!" Meaning that today I have decided to stay home from school. Goodbye education, hello yet another day that I don't have to take a shower or brush my teeth! ( The stench is melting my keyboard ). I could explain, but I won't so I shant cause I can't this here's called a rant. No time to think just spit it, crush the other MC's like an ant. and that's just a metaphor I'm just psycho, I go a little bit crazy sometimes, get a little bit out of control with my rimes! And I should stop listening to rap music. I actually had some good stuff to say before I started writing, and now I've forgotten it all. C'est la vie.

Hey, check this joke out: ( courtesy of PalmJokes.com )

Old Fred's hospital bed is surrounded by well-wishers, but it doesn't look good. Suddenly, he motions frantically to the pastor for something to write on. The pastor lovingly hands him a pen and a piece of paper, and Fred uses his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then dies.The pastor thinks it best not to look at the note right away, so he places it in his jacket pocket.At Fred's funeral, as the pastor is finishing the eulogy, he realizes he's wearing the jacket he was wearing when Fred died."Fred handed me a note just before he died," he says. "I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration in it for us all."Opening the note, he reads aloud,"Help! You're standing on my oxygen tube!"

Lol. That's a good one. Oh yeah you know that link that I have here for Naruto Downloads? Naruto is an awesome manga and anime, sweet fighting, good story, everything! It is gigantic in Japan, and soon it will come out in the states and everyone will go crazy for Naruto stateside too. If you haven't already, download the first chapter on that link to the right and check it out, cause after the manga gets translated into English officially and gets released it in the states, you won't be able to get it on the Internet very easy anymore, what with the legal crap and all. Heck it might already be released in the states for all I know. I do know that Adult Swim ( My favorite tv show when I'm in the usa ) will be showing it sooner or later. I'll post a color page of it here sometime. Not quite on the cutting edge of what is happening in the states, am I?

Oh yeah! Newsflash!!! Alex comes back to Africa today! Yay! People leave this place, they don't come back, so it's a pretty exciting event when one of the old timers come back. Alex is the only dude my age ( person my age ) that has been here since I came, so we are good friends, even if he does call ppl from the states at 2 in the morning. ( see may 5th and 6th posts ) Everyone in the youth group ( most of them around 13, 14 years old, I'm the only one who is even near 18 ) has been waiting for him to come back for weeks now. You know, he is going to get a nasty surprise when everyone starts beating him over the head with blunt instruments. ( The trombone for example =) ) You see, he has written no one for the entire time he was in the states, even if lots of ppl wrote him, the jerk. I was the one that got written the most, and all he wrote me was "I'm sorry I don't write you.". Never a real letter, just ones that apologized for not writing a real letter. Genius. The most hilarious part is you know how he called at 2AM? Well when we were talking he told me (again) that he was sorry for not writing, and that the very next day he would chain himself to the computer until he wrote something. Chain himself to the computer, he said, there is no way I'm not writing, he said. And to this very day I have received no email, from Alex Rehn. Hmm. But, then again, there is so much to do in the states that even I usually get nothing written when I go there. Shame on me. And Shame on you Alex!

Whatever. Well, my mental gas tank of ideas is running on empty, so I guess I'm outta here. Adios muchachos!  I shall leave you with a link to another cool story from scfiction.com .:

www.scifi.com/scifiction/classics/classics_archive/bester/index.html

The last man and woman on earth,  and they just don't seem to get it.


Tuesday, May 10, 2005

GrrrrrrrRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

ARGH! I  hate the Internet! Seriously! Last night I told my mom that I would be back from doing the Internet at 10:30, right? This was around 9 PM. So I go over there and start doing e-mail, you know, checking out some blogs, searching for books, playing some KoL, the usual, and I look at the clock and it already 10:45! And lately my mom has been getting super pissed about me coming home really late after going on the net, so I was like: dang I'd better wrap it up here, and then proceeded to return my eyes to the screen. Every once in a while I would glance at the clock and only vaguely be aware someplace in my mind that I was supposed to quit. Dang it!, I got to bed at around 2 AM, after silently entering my home without anyone noticing ( hopefully ). And to top it all off, I have a freaking butt-load of homework to do, and it has to be done by Monday!!!!! That is TOMORROW.

%@#**^@!%#@(*&@&(@!!#)$%&! !!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am worthless when it comes to homework. But you know, a funny thing happened as I was doing my net thing. I usually leach some stuff off of IRC when I'm connected, right? Well, for those of you who don't know, IRC is a chat room program, with a ton of ppl on the same channel and all.
So I was in this pretty well sized channel ( lotz of ppl ) and I wanted to do a search for a book that I had seen on the web, and I thought that I had pasted the name to the clipboard, so I did control-paste, right? The only problem was that I had just finished posting my last thing to the blog, that one underneath this one, and to do that I had had to cut and paste the text from my computer to the site.
Apparently I did not cut/paste the book title, cause when I pasted to the chat I accidently pasted my entire blog entry to the entire chat room. Read what I pasted on the chat room ( the post below this one ). Imagine chating with a couple people only to have a total stranger all of a sudden say that. I sort of stared at the screen in numb shock for what seemed like hours before quickly getting the heck out  of mIRC. I just sat there afterwards, staring into space, wondering what the people in the room were saying right now, and thinking that at least now I had something kinda interesting to say when people asked me what my most embarasing moment in life was. =)
So now I have a completely new name in mIRC: BillyBoBob. ( Secondary name: Spanky ) My treasured old handle ( KevlarRelic ) being sullied for all eternity by my foolishness.
Hmm... "sullied", he said with alacrity, is a most prodigious word.

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=sullied

If that link works, tell me what it means exactly, ok?
And alacrity. ( Which I really just used at random just now. )

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=alacrity

Anyway, I'd better be off now, my wrists aren't going to slit themselves, are they? ( SOOOOO MUCH HOMEWORK!!! ONLY A DAY! WHY HAVE I BEEN FORSAKEN!!?? God help me. God help us all. )



Friday, May 06, 2005

Hello once again, oh captive online audience. What's happening people? I am writing this early today ( i.e. not after 2AM ) as my spring break is coughing it's dying breaths out as we speak, and I guess it might be useful to get back in the swing of going to bed before the farmers get up to milk their cows, and all. Speaking of which, I still haven't done my homework, all three dissertations that I had all vacation to do, but I knew I'd end up doing at the last moment. Man I'm screwed. But I have been hypnotized by science fiction short stories, mainly the ones that I've been reading on SCIFICTION.com . Really, really great stuff. Here is one of the URL to one of my favorites, a story about, well, I don't want to give anything away, so a story about a girl and how her father takes care of the family...

www.scifi.com/scifiction/originals/originals_archive/laidlaw2/index.html

Really great. And get this, it's by the guy who wrote the stories for Half life and Half life 2. Crazy.
Hey, not one but two posts today! I'm really getting into this stuff! You know it's been nice being able to write a lot, but I doubt I'll be able to keep it up after school starts again. I mean, I have school on every day of the week except Sunday now! It's insane! So I guess I won't be writing quite so much in the future. Anyway, the power is out again, so my battery is almost dead, so I'll have to stop typing now, so I guess what I'm trying to say is adios muchachos!


Awsome. Posted by Hello

Hey-lo again, sweet, sweet, blog-o-mine.

Ah. And now I have returned to regale you once again of my exploits in fighting off an entire rebel army using just a plastic dolphin and a spork. Or maybe I'll just tell you what I had for breakfast. ( A much more terrifying and exciting tale, I assure you. ) Well you see, as I was called last night at 2 AM by my brain surgeon pal Alex Rehn, and as I, being short of those gray cells myself, decided to write a frikin' blog post after I was finished chatting for about an hour ( That's dedication ladies and gentlemen, nothing but the finest and latest breaking stories about the John [ myself not the toilet ], something we promise you will find nowhere else. ) so I ended up getting to sleep at around 4 AM here, and as a result I slept in until noon, unable as I am to part with my mortal need for sleep. As a direct consequence the meal that I ate soon after waking, while it was my first meal of the day,  cannot be considered as breakfast, but since we are on the subject,  the meal consisted of cereal and milk no matter if it was or was not indeed breakfast.
I am sure that that bit of information has made it so that many of you can sleep peacefully now that you finally know what the John [ again referring to myself and not the loo as our British friends might call it ], used to sustain himself for the long hard journey that that day would take him on. Well put your fears aside good friends, I assure you that I am nourished, if not really well nourished. ( I ate a package full of gummy bears, a brownie, and some cheese balls for dinner. GO SWEET SNACK FOODS OF LIFE!! )

Hey, does anyone know exactly what the purpose of a blog is? I mean, I have no earthly idea, and I'm writing in one right now! You see the John [ you get the picture: John not equal to potty] uses his blog as a chance to refer to himself in the third person thus magnifying his importance in his own sick and twisted mind, but he is pretty sure that most blogs aren't used that way. I mean, what is it? Does writing every stupid thing that happens in my life down on a blog make it all meaningful if someone thinks I'm important enough to read what I wrote? I think it just might be that, a sad attempt to justify my own pitiful existence. You see, I read a couple of other blogs and it was like a window into what my life could have maybe been like if my parents hadn't chosen to become missionaries and taken me to this strange and foreign place, a place that I thought I would never be able to call home. I often have wondered what my life would have been like if I had stayed in the states. And then, with these blogs I found people who actually had lots of friends and went out and did all these interesting things, and when confronted with the fact that there wasn't many kids my age here ( or kids of any age really ), and that not only is going outside the walls of the compound dangerous, but there really isn't anything to do out there, it made me feel sad. Not jealous like you might think I would be, but sad. Regretting, I guess, a life that I would never experience. So maybe that is why I decided to start this blog, to maybe show that I too could have some sort of a life.
Or maybe I just started it to be able to speak of myself in third person.
The John thinks that this is most assuredly the reason.
He does indeed. 


Thursday, May 05, 2005

Just wondering if this thing works.

Hmmm, if this works it will be my first post done through email. I hope it works, then. Hey, you know what, it's 3AM and I can't sleep cause my crazy friend Alex Rehn called me from the states at around 9PM or so, which with the time difference is around 2AM here. It's a good thing I wasn't really sleeping all that much, or the mear fact that there happens to be an ocean between me and Alex would not have stopped  me from busting a crazy ex-MK's head in. After the shock of waking up to my Mom telling me I got a phone call, it was actually pretty cool to talk to my main man Alex. He really is one of my oldest friends, and certainly my best buddy ever here in af-RI-ca. I'm spelling "africa" that way because that is how you pronounce it if you wanted to say it like the dude on BBC africa. Or whatever.

It's freaking late!! Hey, I'm kinda proud of that last post. I really didn't know what to say, so I just let my imagination go nuts. Lately I've been reading a lot of Scifi short stories, you see. A lot. I just finished reading the 22nd annual Year's Best SF ( an awsome series, BTW ) , and when I got to the end I noticed that some of the stories were from a website that happened to be related to my favorite TV channel, the SCIFI channel. The site was the oh so much hallowed Scifiction.com  . Man, do I love that site. So much so, that I've downloaded the entire thing onto my harddrive so I don't have to waste valuable internet time on reading the sweet scifi stories. Yep. All 50 Mb or so of it. You have no idea how long that takes with a max speed of 10 Kb/s. No idea. That's max.  Most of the time it's like 5 Kb/s. Have pity on me. :'(   Anyway, I've been sorta entertaining the idea of becoming a writer, inspired as I was by all those cool stories, the only problem being that to become a writer you have to, uh, write. So there you go, my pride of the last post has been explained. I am proud because it exists. Period. Or as we say in French: "point finale". Oh yeah, and the thing that I used to download the site onto my harddrive so that I don't have to be connected to the net to be able to browse the site is called HTTrack Website Copier  which I got from downloads.com excellent program. Works great. Similar to one that I have for my palm: Avantgo, but then again they both just copy sites. Man, I'm tired!

Well, I was going to philosophise ( is that a word? ) about the meaning of blogs, ( I've had that "meaning of life" question whipped for a while now ) but I'm just too dang tired. If you happen to be reading these words after 2AM, go to bed you moron! You'll be happier that way. I know I would have. If it were still only after 2AM, I mean.


Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Greetings again, unknown internet surfer.

Hello! I am here once again to write on my online blog. Yep. That's what I'm here to do. No douting it, I'm here to Blog until there is no tommorow, baby, yeah!! Blog blog blog. Blogglibity-blog....
....you know what, I can't think of anything to say...

*stares at wall, absentmindedly taps buckle on nice coat*

So, I have now decided that I will make a list.

*gasp! A list! Oooh, I love lists!*

Indeed, a list. narated by the strange voice that keeps on popping into my head.

*I'm not the voice in the head, you are! And quite a unique voice, to be filling my mind with thoughts of lists and online journals , and such, instead of the bloodthirsty thoughts that the voices in my head usually bring.*

.......Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. That was wierd. Moving right along, I will now present to you my ultimate achivement:
The "one", the "only", the "I still don't really know what it'll be about"!!!....... The list of... of...

*...The list of my favorite Murder weapons!!!!!!*

my favorite murder weapons!... wait, what!? Um, ok, I guess... The list of the guy in my head's favorite murder weapons.

*No, no, you can put your favorites in there, too! This way you and I can get to know each other better. It works, I've done it with all the other voices, and we became buddies real fast, that is to say, until we came to this place where they don't let us have any fun at all, nothing to do here but stare at the padded walls, and then they give me devil's water that makes all the voices go away, my only friends, curse them! Until you came. Strange that the evil syrup doesn't make you go away...*

...
Um, ok, that's it!!!! The list thing is canceled! The voice thinks that I'm the voice! I mean, what?, what the heck!!? I knew I was crazy, but not this crazy! I need some major mental help or som...

*You're really not much like the other ones, you know. Why don't you talk to me? Don't you want me to show you the funny red stuff that comes out of them when I slice them, dice them? Don't you....*

What the heck, what. the. heck! This is crazy! Insane!...

*STOP CALLING ME THAT. That's what they always say right before they put me in this bad place again, or give me that stupid, Evil Liquid!! I'm NOT crazy....*

No, no, you're not crazy, I'm the one who needs that medicine of yours, cause I'm frikin' nuts! You know what would make this so much easier, buddy ol'pal? If you just admited that you are the voice inside the head. Ok? That's all I'm asking. And while you are at it, could you stop shaking your head so much? It's begining to make me feel dizzy. Thanks.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Thrice cursed Internet!!! DARN YOUUUU!!!!

Hey. The internet has been abnormaly sucky lately, which is the reason that this, my third post on my blog EVAR, has taken so long in comming. You see, for about five days of my precious and soon to be over spring break time was spent upon a trip to the RIVIERA ROYALE as splendid a hotel as you'll find here in Guinea. It was branch meating time! Or, if you were from CMA, Field forum time. Because, you see, PBT and CMA decided to hold whatever you choose to call it at the same time in the same place, together-like. Hmm, perhaps I should explain, as the only people who would understand my previous statements are ppl who might actually know me, and I have decdided that I would not tell anyone that I actually *knew* about this blog, I mean, It's an online JOURNAL, right?, I'm bound to write some pretty personal stuff in here! Which is why I would rather have it read by ppl who I'll probably never meet: strangers, so to speak. Yep, That's just the kind of logic we use around here. Uh, where was I? Oh yeah, I am a MISSIONARY KID, I live with my parents in Af-ri-ca ( which is why the internet never works ) and our mission's name is PBT. We run the guest house for another mission called CMA. And branch meeting is a time when I get to meet all the kids that live up-country and never get to see, while the older folk get to sit in hypnotising meetings. Voila! You know, I keep on spelling "meeting" "meating" which I'm pretty sure is not the same thing. Like a "stoning" except with meat,or something. Well, I've got to 'git, I am SO far behind in my studies for the french BAC, and it's like midnight, and I don't have internet at home, I'm like in the office and my parents lock up at night so I'm already going to get home and find out that the doors have been locked and will have to wake up my poor padres when they already dont get enough sleep and OH THE HUMANITY OF IT ALL!!! Good night, strange internet voyaging individual, and thank you for reading the "get in on the john".

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