Get in on the John

Omigosh omigosh omigosh!
*Bunches hands up into fists in front of his face and stomps up and down in place while screaming like a little school girl*

Superman Returns came out, like, yesterday!
*More hysterical high-pitched squealing, hands fluttering in front of mouth*

*Gets somber all of a sudden*
And where the heck was I?
I thought it was coming out on Friday, like most movies do, and then boom Superman does his "Spinning-the-earth-backwards" thing and jumps the premier on me three days days early. Thanks Supes. Thanks a lot.

Now what am I going to do with these tight blue spandexes and crimson red underwear that I especially dyed just for the honor of wearing them on the outside with a little yellow "S" scribbled in highlighter on the front? Huh? Because people are going to look weird at me when I bike over to the theater in the afternoon tomorrow (matinee prices are only $5.50! Yay!) in full Superman costume, the red towel around my neck billowing behind me as I make wooshing noises and try to steer with both fists held out straight in front of me without crashing.

People are going to think I am crazy in the head, Superman, when I do that three days after your movie came out. My social life might never recover. Way to go, SuperJERK! Where is the Truth, Justice, and, and the American Way, in that, huh? Huh? That's what I thought. Yeah.

This is all your fault, but I am still a fan, Supes, so let the pictures and video flow forth!

• Many, many more Superman comics from the official site.

Oh, and sorry guys that I haven't been responding to your comments much, but I have been staying up late already doing the posts, so I really haven't had the time, but be assured that they shall be responded to soon! And you guys are awesome to be able to comment so much already and keeping up with my speedy posting and all! Thanks guys!