Get in on the John

Hey, short post here as I must keep an eye on the stick of Old Spice deodorant which keeps on moving in the corner of my vision. It's planning something, and after a life-time of it's head being used to scent my underarms, that can't be good news.




That's right! Next Thursday we celebrate the annual TOWEL DAY! HUZZAH!

But what in the name of Almighty Bob is a TOWEL day, you ask? Well, Towel Day is the date that has been set aside every May 25th to remember the late literary luminary Douglas Adams, mainly by carrying a towel with you everywhere you go all day long.




But why, for the love of Bob, why a towel? Because they're awesome. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy itself puts it better:

" A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical
value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

As you can see there is ample reason for you to show up wearing a towel next Thursday. Just remember, real HitchHiker's fans wear nothing but the towel.

Ho ho ho. I'm ridicul... ARRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!




If only I'd had my towel.

Cleaning up all this blood would have been way easier.

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